Lenny Megliola: Minnesota fans can't win

On Wednesday night, the Celtics ripped the Nets to move to 7-0. The same night, the Timbervolves beat the Sacramento Kings. It was Minnesota’s first win of the season.

You know where this is going.

We’ve got Kevin Garnett; Minnesotans don’t. We’ve got David Ortiz; they don’t. We’ve got Randy Moss; they don’t.

So I rang up a couple of sports bars out there to see just how depressed the folks were in the heartland. Naturally, I had to tell them I was from Boston.

“Thanks for taking Kevin Garnett from us, you dink,” was Scott Brady’s hello to me. Brady was wetting his whistle at Be-Bop’s, a watering hole in Blaine, just outside Minneapolis.

“It sucks that the Timberwolves are this bad,” said Bob Margin, between cold ones at Champions, a mile from the Target Center where the Wolves play. “And letting Ortiz go was the stupidest thing.”

Now that K.G. is putting up regular double-doubles for the Celtics, Champions customer W.C. Martin said, “I’m very disturbed.”

“It’s amazing that (general manager) Kevin McHale still has a job,” said Willie Austin, in Champions.

“Time for McHale to go,” said Courtnet Lerdon, Champions’ manager.

I guess it was kind of mean (but I did it anyway) to mention that there’s a whisper out there that the Red Sox may go after the Twins’ brilliant southpaw Johan Santana. “Hell no!” said Lerdon, sounding like he was having a heart attack. “Maybe Torii Hunter. We’ll take Mike Lowell. That’s been in the papers here.”

The way things are going for Minnesotans, “the Vikings will probably trade Adrian Peterson to the Patriots,” Brady said. Two weeks ago, Peterson set the NFL single-game rushing record.

Crowds are down at Timberwolves games. At Champions, Lerdon has 17 TVs flashing.

“Our crowd is a basketball crowd,” he said. “A lot of people used to come in and watch the Timberwolves. Now I don’t put the game on unless someone asks.”

As far as the Wolves making the playoffs, fans are taking the Jim Mora posture. PLAYOFFS?  “Do I think we have a chance this year? No,” Austin said.

Rick Alonzo, who covers the Wolves for the St. Paul Pioneer Press (he must be being punished for something), said, “Most fans are predicting 20 to 30 wins. I think that’s fair.” In other words, the Wolves are last year’s Celtics!

PLAYOFFS? “They’ll have a hard time winning a game” Lerdon said. Minnesota has missed the playoffs the last three years.

The guys I talked to were big K.G. fans, with one caveat. “I grew up despising the Celtics, but I find myself pulling for then because of Garnett,” Austin said. “I got nothing but respect for him. He endured. He never complained.”

“I liked him, but there’s only so much you can do with one player,” Brady said.

Now the caveat, from Bob Margin. “Garnett never wanted to take the last shot. If he did, he missed.” Ooo, that hurt. “I think he’s going to do great in Boston with two stars (Ray Allen and Paul Pierce). That’s what he needs. Garnett’s not Michael Jordan.”

OK, early returns on Al Jefferson, the key player in the Garnett trade, have been favorable. “He’s a good player, but he’s not going to be the savior,” Lerdon said.

“It’s going to be a long time before they get a good team,” W.C. Martin said. “I don’t even know the names of the Timberwolve players.”

Antoine Walker, said Lerdon, “doesn’t know his role.”

Bob Margin piped in on the loss of Ortiz. “(Then Twins manager) Tom Kelly was trying to make Ortiz a different kind of hitter. He wanted to hit for average, hit singles.” Margin knew long before we did what a wonderfully infectious personality Big Papi has. “I ran into him a couple of times in the grocery store. He was a great guy, and he was a nobody.”

Garnett is a great guy and he’s a SOMEBODY. “Everybody --- players, coaches, front office --- had great respect for Garnett for 12 years,” said Alonzo of the Pioneer Press. “Nobody would have anything bad to say about him. At the same time, they realize it’s a new era. They don’t spend any time talking about Kevin Garnett or the past. That won’t do you any good.”

The Twins are a so-so team, the football teams, the Vikings and Minnesota Gophers, stink and the Timberwolves might be the worst of all. Fans hit the Minny sports bars now to drown their sorrows, not to watch the games. “We’re disappointed,” said Willie Austin.

Garnett, Big Papi, Moss. I felt Austin’s pain. No, that’s a lie actually.

Lenny Megliola is a Daily News columnist. His e-mail is lennymegs@aol.com