What questions might be going around in LeBron's head now that he’s had time to settle?
LeBron James was in such a rush to get out of Ohio that the Caveliers-turned-Heat pro basketball player hardly had time to think. What questions might be going around in his head now that he’s had time to settle in the South?
- Did I turn off the bathroom light?
- I wonder if it would be rude to ask them to send me all the headbands I left in my locker?
- Think the Boys and Girls Club kids would want any of these winter coats I won’t need?
- Do I get to keep the “Key to the City” the Cleveland people gave me?
- Who would I talk to about getting my hands on that big mural they took down?
- What are the chances D-Wade and Chris would go for the nickname “The King and His Court?”
- Whom can I replace Dan Gilbert with on my Christmas card list?
- How come nobody from Cleveland calls me for golf anymore?
- I’d sure like to keep doing that “dust in the air” thing; would South Beach sand work?
- Why can’t the words on a new Nike mural in Miami just say, “We Are All Witnesses ... Again”?
- Do the wide black stripes running down the sides of the red Miami Heat uniform make me look fat?
- I wonder if ESPN would want to do an hourlong show called “The Sacrifice,” about how we didn’t get as many millions as we could have?
- Shorts. Why didn’t I think of buying more shorts and sandals up North when the fall sales started last year?
- Should I call up Art Modell and ask him which road he’s been using to sneak into town to get some good pirogi and kielbasa?
- OK, if they can’t compare me with Michael Jordan anymore, can’t they just ask, “Are James, Wade and Bosh better than Jordan, Pippen and Rodman?”
- Of course I asked Zydrunas Ilgauskas to come to Miami; wouldn’t anyone want to spend quality court time with their best 7-foot-3-inch friend?
- It’s hotter than I thought down here; should I have signed with Chicago?
- Why don’t I just pay to put up another big mural in Cleveland, one that shows me sort of sincere-looking, saying, “It’s Not You, It’s Me”— like you would say if you were trying to make somebody feel better when you’re breaking up?
- Is it really any different, when you think about it, because a lot of Cleveland fans are down in Florida in the winter, aren’t they?
- Why do people just assume, because now I’m in Miami, that I’ll forget ... that city I grew up in?
Gary Brown writes for The Repository in Canton, Ohio. Contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org.